How to Stay Body Positive in a Body Negative World

Long earlier than Megan Jayne Crabbe grew to become a physique positivity advocate, writer, and social media sensation with over 1.3 million followers, she was a teenage woman with anorexia. But even after Crabbe recovered from the lethal illness usually marked by restrictive consuming, intense worry of weight acquire, and distorted physique picture, she struggled with self-acceptance.

When Crabbe found physique positivity, it modified her world view. Being physique optimistic facilities on seeing all our bodies as inherently “good” and recognizing that each individual deserves love and self-confidence no matter societal magnificence requirements.

 

“Before learning about body positivity, I had entire friendships that were built on diet culture and shared body hatred!” says Crabbe, who lives in Essex, U.Okay. and was previously identified on the web as BodyPosiPanda. “Thankfully, most of my friends got on board with body acceptance quite quickly because they could see how much happier I was in myself.”

Crabbe’s expertise and her resolution to prioritize her personal well being and happiness over a number of buddies’ ingrained beliefs begs the query: What do you do once you’re physique positivity and the individuals round you aren’t? And what are you able to do to take care of your personal bodily and psychological well-being in a world that so usually nonetheless reinforces — and generally even celebrates — disordered physique beliefs?

How to Stand Your Ground in Body Positivity

Because eating regimen tradition and physique negativity are so frequent, it could actually really feel inconceivable to flee the echoes of fatphobic discuss, self-deprecation, and judgmental critiques of others’ our bodies. But somewhat preparation and planning may very well assist spare your psychological well being and stop you from falling sufferer to poisonous matters of dialog.

“The best strategy is having a strategy — seriously,” says Los Angeles-based psychotherapist Alyssa Mass, MFT. “If you have a healthy body image, then please don’t internalize other people’s not so healthy ones. This is not a club you want to belong to and if you’ve stayed out this long, good for you!”

Many of us have been conditioned to have interaction in adverse self-talk. Think of the scene within the film Mean Girls during which buddies bond over statements like “My hips are huge,” “I hate my calves,” and “My nail beds suck!” But Mass says it’s attainable to be a compassionate pal whereas defending your personal peace.

 

 

“The best way to not get into this conversation is by doing just that: not getting into it,” Mass says. “You can listen to your friends and be empathetic to their struggles without mimicking them.”

“If your friend was depressed and telling you everything that was wrong with her life, would you think those same things about yours? Probably not. If you need to change the conversation, do it. If you need to leave the room, or put on headphones, do it. Seek out conversations you do want to be a part of. The most you can say to a friend is, ‘I hear you, even though I don’t agree with you. Is there something else we can do or talk about that would shift this energy?’”

Sideline Negative Body Talk

For Crabbe, staying centered on her personal physique positivity objectives meant setting strict boundaries with those that weren’t as invested within the journey for themselves.

“There is nothing wrong with gently saying, ‘I’m trying really hard to build a more positive relationship with my body and food, and conversations about calorie counting or wanting to change our bodies can put me in a difficult headspace. Do you mind if we put those conversations to the side? I’d much rather hear about xyz!’” she says.

“If that person has any regard for your well-being, they will respect a simple and clear boundary. If they continue not to, then you’re allowed to distance yourself from that relationship physically and emotionally.”

Build Your Feel-Good Wardrobe – Now

To reinforce your personal physique positivity, curate a wardrobe that encourages bodily consolation.

Doing that could be a notably highly effective approach to preserve a dedication to physique positivity, it doesn’t matter what type of messages are coming in from these round you, says Amanda White, writer and follow director and therapist at Therapy for Women Center in Philadelphia.

“A helpful strategy is to start dressing and caring for your body as it is right now,” White says. “So many of us spend so much time not buying or wearing clothes we like or feel good in because we are waiting to change first. Instead, ask yourself, ‘If I knew my body wasn’t going to change, what would I do differently? What would I wear, what would I do? How would I take care of myself?’”

Set Up a Safe Zone

Crabbe additionally suggests making a constant secure area freed from pervasive adverse physique discuss. This haven could assist stability and even cancel out any triggering or upsetting feedback. And it doesn’t must be a bodily area.

“Make sure you have a body positive refuge to return to after potentially damaging conversations — social media feeds filled with empowering voices, books you can turn to for the facts, podcasts to listen to or even just TV shows that show actual diversity,” Crabbe says. “If the diet culture voices won’t go away completely, work on drowning them out.”

Detox Your Social Media

Because so many people spend a lot time on social media, platforms like Instagram, Facebook, TikTookay, and extra can have a profound influence on how we see ourselves. In truth, analysis has proven that social media use is constantly linked to having a adverse physique picture and that, that hyperlink could strengthen over time.

But you may flip that round by selecting what kind of content material you interact with. Studies have additionally demonstrated psychological advantages to partaking with body-positive content material on these identical platforms.

“We are all the curators of our own social media,” Mass says. “You curate what you put out into the social media stratosphere. So curate what you take in just as carefully. Make your social bubble work for you. The unfollow button is your friend. If someone’s account is negatively impacting [you], unfollow or, at the very least, mute.” 

Crabbe says that “unfollow” possibility is a key instrument in curating a more healthy social media feed. “For me, that looked like unfollowing the celebrities who are known for being impossibly beautiful, unfollowing the influencers who sell diet products. The people you follow should make you feel empowered, inspired, challenged in a healthy way, and less alone. Otherwise, what are you even there for?”

Seek Different Voices

White additionally encourages individuals to hunt out new and various voices in social media areas who could assist dismantle a number of the physique negativity that’s so current in mainstream tradition.

“Follow people of all different body types, sizes, and abilities,” White says. “Unfollow people or brands that negatively impact how you feel about yourself or who push diets or weight loss.”

To hunt down supportive, empowering voices, Mass suggests researching sure hashtags on platforms like Instagram and TikTookay. You could uncover like-minded individuals with related objectives and values.

“Following #bodypositive is an easy start but, have fun with it,” she says. “Go outside your comfort zone and find some accounts with messages that echo how you wish you spoke to yourself. Let those be the voices you read/hear/digest.”

It’s a Process

It took some individuals in Crabbe’s life extra time to return round to the idea of physique positivity and problem “their own internalized fatphobia and reluctance to let go of the beauty standard,” Crabbe says. And different buddies “have had a harder time letting go of the cultural messages they’ve heard their whole lives conflating weight with worth,” Crabbe says.

“I only have a couple of friends who are still actively invested in diet culture. But we both recognize a boundary is necessary in our conversations when it comes to negative diet and body talk,” she says. “Ultimately, when I decided to dedicate myself to body acceptance, I knew in my heart that I was willing to lose people if necessary. Because any friends I had who weren’t rooting for my healing and happiness within myself probably weren’t the friends I should have anyway.”

As Crabbe has continued on her personal journey of physique positivity, she’s discovered many classes about staying true to her personal rules each as a job mannequin and as a human being dedicated to her personal self-love evolution.

For these struggling to search out their very own voice in a society that’s so usually flooded with dangerous physique picture beliefs and messages, she provides some phrases of encouragement.

“You’re on the right team,” Crabbe says. “The rest of them will catch up eventually.”

Sources

Photo Credit:

Luis Alvarez / Getty Images

SOURCES:

Alyssa Mass, marriage and household therapist, San Diego, CA.

Amanda E. White, writer; follow director; therapist, Therapy for Women Center, Philadelphia.

Current Opinion in Psychology: “Social Media and Body Image Concerns: Current Research and Future Directions.”

Journal of Health Psychology: “The case for body positivity on social media: Perspectives on current advances and future directions.”

Megan Jayne Crabbe, writer; physique positivity advocate, United Kingdom.

National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA).

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